I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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