Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
