hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
