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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
