I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
