i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
