and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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