they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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