She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
