So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
