I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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