dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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