dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We need to rekindle our bromance
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This is the high leading the old right now
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
