Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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