She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
