I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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