what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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