Banned from zoo.
Again?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
