I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
