Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
