dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I look excited, but its just a facade.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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