what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
