What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
