There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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