Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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