i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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