His pubic hair was longer than his dick
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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