I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
