i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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