my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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