jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My vagina just recognized that song.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Randomize
