I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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