glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
