the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
