Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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