It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
