I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
is it fun? or sober?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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