she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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