I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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