I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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