I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
