Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
