He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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