the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
