In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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