Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
