pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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