How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
