I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
