the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
