I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
